Very interesting post. Perhaps I can add my two cents :)

I'm also an immigrant in Barcelona. Coming from Israel, I first moved to the UK and then to Spain. And of course, I also found things that were similar to my culture back home and things that were different (personally I find Spain a lot more similar to Israel than the UK, perhaps it's a Mediterranean thing). Anyway, to keep my thoughts structured (I fear I don't have the synthesis capabilities you do), I'll use the same topics you used for this post, perhaps in just a slightly different order.

Socializing - I don't drink coffee either nor do I smoke. I do drink tea and beer however. Nonetheless, personally I feel that, in Spain, on most occasions these activities are just an excuse to get together and chat. Yes, sometimes everyone goes out for a smoke and if you don't smoke then it can be a bit awkward, but with time I just ended up thinking of alternatives I can do to be part of it - they drink coffee? I drink a hot chocolate. They have a smoke? I have a snack or just grab a breath of "fresh" air. Beer drinking is a tougher context perhaps, but I have a good friend that for years went out with us and always ordered a coke :) I think you'd find things are a lot worse in the UK... there I felt that sometimes (definitely not always) drinking was not even an excuse for socializing, it was the whole point of the evening. That can be quite frustrating indeed. But all in all, I think even though a night out might start as "hey lets go out for a drink", once you're actually there no one cares if you have beer or coke or just a glass of water.

Formalities - I guess it's all relative. I recommend going to the UK, Spain will suddenly feel a lot less formal! But then again, perhaps coming from India Spain does look too formal. In that sense, I have no excuse or counter argument - we're each used to what we're used to, and I think it's always harder coming from a more open place to a less open place. However, I also think it's a matter of time - with my personal group of friends, these formalities are long gone. It's more of a means of keeping some sort of order between citizens in general (ok, maybe we don't need this order? i can't tell), but such formalities are dropped quite quickly once you get to know someone. It also depends on *where* you are in Spain - you can't really compare Barcelona to, for example, the villages around it, or some cities in the south of Spain (e.g. Sevilla). The drummer in my band comes from a village in tarragona where everyone knows everyone, literally. I somehow think that in Europe, the bigger a city is the less personal the relationships are between its inhabitants. To me this seems normal (you can't be friends with EVERYONE), but perhaps in India things are different. It also requires some personal initiative - many people can be very friendly once you get to know them, they just don't have that initial courage to start a conversation. Coming from abroad, one usually feels at a disadvantage and hopes to be approached rather than approach others. When I started my masters at the UPF I actually did feel very welcomed - other students made an effort to speak in English because they knew I wouldn't understand them otherwise (this was almost 5 years ago...). But well, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and be the one the initiate a conversation, or invite someone over, etc.

In any case, I think both of these previous aspects are strongly affected by what I've been saving for last... language.

Personally, I found language to be a massive massive factor here in Spain, and Barcelona being the capitol of Catalunya only adds flames to the fire. Like you said, it's amazing how little English is spoken in Spain. Obviously there's no reason for it to be an official language, but some basic English for general communication, and especially in places such as airports would be expected. In the Spaniard's defense though, up until the late 70's they were are a totalitarian regime where everything that wasn't Spanish was forbidden, and that really screwed them over. After 30 years, Spain is still in the process of recovering from the damage caused by the "Franquismo" (well, if you're into Spanish politics, the franquismo is still very much alive unfortunately). This is very different from Israel and India, who were both under British regime for many years before becoming independent.
But even the younger generation, who generally does speak some English - is very shy about it and doesn't feel at all comfortable. This means that often, locals don't socialize with foreigners simply because of the language barrier, and in Spain, it's one hell of a barrier. I think my personal experience is quite relevant in this case - I arrived in Spain about 5 years ago not knowing a single word in Spanish. Over the time I learned more and more, and know I can pretty much say I'm fluent (my Catalan is another issue...). My point is - throughout my time in Spain, I found that the more Spanish I could speak, the more doors were opened for me. I started speaking to people I wouldn't have spoken to otherwise, being invited to events I might have not been invited to otherwise, understanding jokes I wouldn't have otherwise (I always say a good measure of your control of a language is how well you can flirt in that language :). Anyway, at first read this might seem quite closed and unfriendly - why be so open to spanish speakers and so closed to non-spanish speakers. But in my experience, it's genuinely a language barrier - people just can't express themselves well in English, they feel embarrassed and can't be themselves. In an ideal world it wouldn't be like this... but at least for now, that's the situation. That's why whenever I talk to newcomers who've arrived in Spain recently, I always ask - "how's your spanish". Over here, it's more than a means for getting your paperwork done, and getting the right cheese at the supermarket. It's your gateway to society.

Then there's Catalan. But that's a whole different story, so we'll save it for another time.

I guess we each have our own personal story, our own trajectory. I arrived not knowing a word of spanish, and not knowing anyone in the city. Over the course of the years I learned the language, got to make some very good friends and well, my girlfriend is spanish and my day-to-day is practically all in Spanish. Then again, coming from Israel (which sometimes tries to think of itself as an extension of europe in the middle east even though it's not really), I've probably had better starting conditions.

Whatever your decision is in a few years, leave or stay, I hope it won't be due to lack of "absorption". Perhaps we can continue this conversation sometime over a cup of hot chocolate :)

Hey Gopal,

Well written but there are somethings I want to point out based on my experience.

Language plays an important role to communicate. I know how frustrating it is when there is no one there to communicate in a common language. As of now European people are learning the importance of breaking the language barrier to capture the global market, but I somehow appreciate their love towards their language. I think that is the one reason why their language will never die out. In a country like India where English and Hindi are most prevalent languages there is a possibility that one day (may be 5000 years from now) the local languages will get extinct if it is not preserved in the written form.

In fact at first I was surprised too, but now I am forced to learn their language to read whats written on the grocery items. In a way its good and in a long run it is definitely useful.

For example lets see how many people actually type emails in Telugu or Hindi?? may be 2%. If you see that in Czech or French its more than 30 times higher. How many people search the web in Indian languages?? far too less.

I am not sure what was the origin, but I think the Britishers are to blame :D. They should have either conquered the whole world or should have left our country alone :D

Regarding socializing and culture a great philosopher once said "Be a Roman in Rome".

Avinesh